Oxin111

I need to say I have exactly like you. I was unable to finish anything though many years. Than 1,5 year ago finally everything changed. This is by small but significan tchange. I choose for myself subject that is big enough that a lot of experimentation can fall under it and specific enough that all experiments have common denominator. Single guiding idea. For me this was enabling my father to create application (emotional importance! we are all animals after all. btw. he didn't care. I cared.). Since then I'm experimenting with new stuff and doing the thing that interest me but this theme is always there.

I'm doing tests of different stuff, writing prototypes, all good stuff. First there was more strategy and later there is more tactical planning and execution but I still more do what I feel I want to do right now than follow so roadmap or something. I sit down and think what I want to do right now and I write myself one post-it with tasks to do, stick it to laptop next to the touch pad. Than I do this fully or partially and than new post-it. I think that my mind is telling me the place of maximum development for my level of skills and I keep faith that this path will take me to some destination that is original.

After 1,5 year and 3 throw away partially working prototypes I have something that is quite cool I have something like creator to generate application for production systems. I discovered my own cool frontend architecture. Thinking about everything from first principle and go to place of interest giving really cool results in retrospect.

No I'm a bit forcing myself with last 2 post-its because I have company that want to use this system and I need to finish details that I didn't care about to do because I was going around it. But now when I see it almost finished and useful somehow it goes easier.

Soul of the explorer is a great gift, no need to change it.

Generally for me 30 yo it was mark of stopping being my own enemy and started things that I always wanted. To this time I was just doing this random stupid stuff and thought that it will all fall together. (Disclaimer: It did).