Morphion

alias config="/usr/bin/git --git-dir=$HOME/.dotfiles/ --work-tree=$HOME -c status.showUntrackedFiles=no -c submodule.recurse=true -c alias.update="'"!bash '"$HOME"'/.config/dotfiles/update_dotfiles.sh"'

All your troubles would be solved if you simply locked down master and only allowed pull requests with limited merge options like fastforward and squash. I work at a small shop with 6 devs. We do this. No issues.