2061a48b32e8
I don't mean to engage in discussion with myself, at least not in public.
If New York is what you want, make that happen. But make clear this is your priority, and that what you get, you won't take personally: we all need to make decisions that involve our future, and they aren't always the pretty ones.
If you want your technical knowledge to be the priority, make that happen. If you do it right, you can possibly move to New York, if you still want that.
I don't think age is the issue - and honestly, everyone asks for experience, which you can convince people you have: you need to point out the relevant aspects of what you have done.
If you feel, as you say, that you could be incredibly useful, then surely you must have some opinion about where you want to apply this: for yourself, for others, for love, for money, for recognition, for the lulz?
First of all, this is their job: they are there to try and get a good deal. And so are you: in this respect, you speak the same language.
So this is a debate, or a haggle - not an intelligent chat, but an attempt to come out 'on top'.
And as such, your first question should be what the benefit is to you. If all this recruiter can get you is what you make: * you can say you make anything you want, because checking is at best legally dubious (but IANAL). * there is little point in agreeing to someone representing you (exclusively or not) if all they can do is what you did.
In terms of exclusive representation, the answer can only be no: how can I look for a job otherwise?
Take charge: they gain from your demands, they are just trying to make their other customer (the real recruiter) happy. They cannot go back to this entity and say "no, sounds like a good guy, I didn't negotiate", any more than you can afford to do that to yourself.
If they make you an offer you would accept, then consider taking it - as long as you would be satisfied, and think the move a good one, this is to your benefit (but don't undersell yourself).
We all get annoyed with the charade that goes around this - it is silly, and for the most part sort of degrading. Third party recruiters aren't really the ones to blaim: many managers will at least consider this, and it is pretty much HR's job.
Learn that what you want is as right as what they do - the difference is you are accountable to you, and they have their own reasons.
Or, in other words: if they are an idiot, you have better things to do with your time than lamenting that fact.
I don't mean learning on the job, or learning for a purpose, but rather, studying.
It won't, however, buy you anything beyond what you feel you have gained (no one will necessarily care about what you learned).
But for yourself, take that time, and enjoy the experience.
As IT people, we tend to be focus on acquiring knowledge for a purpose, and we aren't always great at actually learning, vs. learning what we need to do right now.
I found that receiving education I sought out was beneficial, and made me more engaged in learning. That isn't marketable, but from a personal perspective, is important.
As others have suggested, see what the state can do to help the financial side of things, and think about this in a different way: if you had quit, and wanted to find the right step to take next, what would you do?
It is a luxury to do this (I live in Europe, it is easier), but one you should consider affording yourself: you are your first work tool.
Notably on what you mean by SecDevOps.
One on hand, as suggested by jotato, it might be a 'security-aware' DevOps team, in which case, I would suggest looking into things like CIS benchmarks, and tools like openSCAP - i.e. how to build and deliver security-hardened infra. Similarly, you might look into things like the Calico project for a tool to help deliver secure networking infra, IPSEC, and so forth.
One the other hand, you may be thinking of automating the job of the security team, in which case, you would be looking into things like distributing blacklists across the company, automated revocation of tokens/certs, server isolation and re-imaging (or forensic analyst, or both).
For that, the ultimate answer is that it really depends on your current security situation and infra, and what your risks are. You might be fine with having a central distribution point for snort(/suricata/broIDS) rules, and centralised logging. On a much lower level, fail2ban could be seen as a means of automating security (you can make it read your IDS logs, too).
As has been noted, though, do consider this approach may be putting too many eggs in one basket: notably, you might want to consider the tension between the Sec and DevOps roles - asking for one team to handle that tension alone would (to me) require you put great faith in their ability to correctly choose between putting security and agility first - something that might be better done by having each side represented by someone who really owns each concern.
I guess the question to ask here is what have you got, and what are you trying to do?
Technical knowledge is great (essential, even) - IT is a meritocracy and all that - but don't forget that people need to work with you, and you with them.
It may be people have an issue mentally fitting you in the 'right' box (as others have suggested), and possibly, the same is true for you (you don't like the sound of their box).
So as has been suggested, don't only look for a role/job that motivates you, try and look for something that speaks to you personally, and where you feel there is a good chance of cultural fit.
And don't take the rejections personally - ultimately, the outcome will always be binary, and I doubt it is the experience of most people here to systematically get offers _when they are the ones looking_.
Opinions are good, and if you value your own opinions, stick to them, and look for somewhere that agrees with you on their value. If you don't find that, do question yourself.
No matter how frustrating this all is, it will lead to something, be it your dream gig, your foot on the right career ladder, or a complete change of direction.
Again, do not take this personally - from your side, you are (of course, and to your credit) doing your best - but you have no way of knowing that anyone else is, and hence, of knowing you are being assessed on your merits.
FWIW, I have had to move countries twice to find my first job, and am currently having difficulty finding the next one, with 10+ years of experience behind me. IT hiring has its own weird hiring patterns and peculiarities, and most likely, your break will be down to luck - and like much luck, you may need to create the conditions for it to happen...