i think what most people mean by 'safety' is 'low incidence of murder, assault, robbery, kidnap, rape' but you seem to mean 'low incidence of getting feelings hurt'. this might be why you and others seem to be talking past each other.

One of the very few countries where women I've known have felt completely safe walking home alone at 2am. Yes, to a certain extent they are underestimating the real risks which are definitely non-zero, but it's definitely fairly unique from a violent crime in the streets perspective.