What would you suggest to convey the same meaning of "making something/someone unnecessarily painful to deal with"?

There’s got to be another word that doesn’t make the user come across like someone who seems deeply proud and smug about the fact that they perceive themselves to be on the moral high ground about a particular issue, while simultaneously “tsk tsk”ing and shaming the person for something that, 9/10 times isn’t as dramatically as big a deal as the person using that word implies.

In some instances sure it’s fitting, but here? Give me a break!

Uh well I was really just using it to mean "I don't like this take, and I think that we will have significant problems if too many people adopt the same point of view." Like just that that kind of point of view can cause problems in a community, because giving someone like Linus a free ride to say whatever he wants "because it's his house" can lead to a large portion of people feeling alienated or otherwise unfairly put-upon.

I was unaware that the word "problematic" had so much extra connotation for some people. I'll seek to find an alternative way to phrase similar sentiments in the future.

My immediate alternate choice would be "troublesome", but then that sounds patronizing (because kids are often seen as "troublesome"). Do you have some suggestions, maybe?

(I know that sometimes when I write things like this people think I'm being sarcastic or antagonizing. I want you to know that this is not the case: I'm sincerely interested in finding another way to phrase these thoughts that will be less likely to cause these kinds of reactions in the future. I want to be understood clearly, but I don't want to mischaracterize my own opinions by using words that people may interpret with some nuance different than what I'm used to.)

But that's you projecting the meaning you want on a word that does not have that connotation.

Whatever word you would suggest as an alternative today would soon enough sound just like "problematic" to you now. Your objection isn't really the word, but the idea.

"Problematic" alludes to a problem without concretely identifying it for us to decide how serious it is.